I can never do this! It is not my cup of tea. This is something you might have said or heard often. It might sound innocuous, but deep inside this statement holds the key to what mindset you are living with. Mindset is the key to what you want, the desired growth and success in life. It is also the reason for your state of life which means the wrong mindset is the cause of failure and disappointment too.
What you think, react, and feel determines what happens to you.
Do you know with whom do we have maximum conversations through each day? Ourselves
These conversations decide the flow of our life. This happens on an automated mode, where we don’t even realise that how this unconscious talk with ourselves is affecting our choices and behaviour.
The good part is we CAN change our mindset and put ourselves on the path to growth and success.
I have not been someone who was an extrovert, or great at socialising and mingling with people. I used to think that’s not who I am. I used to think maybe I don’t have that gift. But not anymore.
Now, I love talking to people, I have connected with more people in the last 6 months, than ever in my career of 18 years. It’s helping me a great deal. I am open to talking with anyone now and build bonds wherever possible.
I have understood what makes a difference to my life and I have adopted a mindset that helps promote that.
I am sure by now, you would have warmed up to the idea of how to have the right mindset.
For this, we must first know which mindset do you fall in?
Prof Carol Dweck, one of the world’s leading researchers in the fields of personality, social psychology and developmental psychology has classified the mindset into two categories.
The Fixed Mindset: People belonging to this mindset, think talent and intelligence is in born, it cannot be cultivated by effort. Either you have it or you don’t have it. You are either a success or a failure. They believe inborn talent determines success. That is why people with this mindset keep struggling in reaching the top.
They like to validate themselves every time to prove their worth. This prevents them from exploring new learnings and focus on development as it would expose that they are not good enough. It often leads to stagnation in where they are. They love to be in their comfort zones.
The Growth Mindset: These people are learners and believe that intelligence and talent can be grown with effort and consistency. They work on upgrading themselves to move up. They embrace effort and are open to accepting challenges. They as a result experience greater success, growth and peak performances.
The desire to grow by new learnings keeps them curious and experimenting. This in turn keeps paving way for their success.
Most doers belong to the growth mindset. They may not have great confidence but they enjoy the journey to their goal.
By now you can make out, you fall in which mindset.
Most people, are a mix of fixed and growth mindset. People can also have different mindsets in different areas. For example. you may think your creativity is fixed but you can work on being more intelligent.
How To Shift Your Mindset
A baby is never born with a fixed mindset. It’s the result of conditioning we have received from parents and society that shapes our understanding and worldview
- Awareness: Being aware of the traits of the fixed mindset, helps one keep away from it. Knowing the distinction between the two mindsets can make all the difference as when we know something is not working in our favour, we do not fall for it. Fixed mindset stunts your growth.
- Failing is part of the game : Don’t be afraid of failure. No one likes to fail. One way of looking at it is success always tastes sweeter after a bout of failure. If you look at nature, everything works in a rhythm. Nothing is permanently in the same state. Failure and success operate in a cyclical process.
- No one is born perfect. It is our assumption that we can be good at just one or few things. The reality is you learnt to be good at it and were not perfect from day one.
- Stop validating yourself: Consuming your energies in trying to prove your talent, work on upgrading it. Validation always keeps you from trying something new.
- Nothing is etched in stone. You can always turn the tables on anything with effort. Don’t bother too much about people’s perception. We think too much about how people will react while this always does not matter so much. What matters is what are you doing for your good and growth.
The best part is reaching the top happens easily for those in the growth mindset though this category of people would not be focussed particularly on doing so. Ironically it is the fixed mindset people who are most hungry to reach the top it’s the growth minded people who arrive there as a result of their approach and attitude.
The biggest unshakeable fact of life is change is the only constant. Resisting change can never be good. That is why people with growth mindset flourish .Success and failure is all in the mind. Choose your mindset and change your life. Are you ready for it?